Man, I love tea. In a boozy fit of brewpraise, my friend Finlay and I recently half-formulated the Tealeological Argument; a pseudo-theological proof, taking as its central premise the unquestionably divine contrivance of the marriage betwixt tea and toast. Certainly silliness, but borne of a love I once thought unconditional. Whether peppermint or rooibos, green [...]
Archive for November, 2009
#6 – Tetley Green Tea With Lemon
Posted in reviews, tagged artificiality, brewpraise, green tea, lemon, Tealeology, Tetley, ungentlemanly gagging on November 30, 2009 | 3 Comments »
#5 – Joshua
Posted in reviews, tagged dolly parton, joshua, names, texas, the future on November 25, 2009 | 1 Comment »
“Joshua” is a melodious name; a strong name; a name that in all forms—in its entirety and in abridgements—does not suggest, imply, echo, or rhyme with any colloquial or clinical term for genitalia. The name’s resultant popularity is evident. In 2008 alone, 18,924 boys were christened “Joshua.” In comparison, 22,272 boys were named “Michael”—the year’s [...]
#4 – The Bathrobe
Posted in reviews, tagged animation, astronomy, Bathrobe, Bathrobes, chemistry, clothing, the pomp of emperors, vegetation on November 23, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
The arts and inventions of each period are only its costume. In a higher manner, the bathrobe communicates the same pleasure. All that we call sacred history attests that the birth of a robe is the principal event in chronology. For, the experience of each new age requires a new confession, and the world seems [...]
#3 – Law & Order
Posted in reviews, tagged bad teeth, dead kids, justice, Law & Order, onions, Pavlov, pedophiles, truth on November 20, 2009 | 1 Comment »
When I hear the sound of the gavel, I salivate like a Pavlovian dog. For even if justice isn’t served, the truth will be revealed. The onion will peel. There are layers. We are passengers on a rising aircraft, and the landscape will slowly come into focus until we can view all the puzzle’s pieces [...]
#2 – 300
Posted in reviews, tagged 300, Blood, Movie, Slow Motion, Sparta on November 18, 2009 | 1 Comment »
Is this what it meant to be myself? There are arrows that exist at some points and occasionally others—there are swings of swords and finishing strikes with a vaguely Eastern flourish (not to say that the Greeks are not capable of flourish, they certainly are the sons and daughters of Helen), there are reasons to [...]
#1 – Waiting
Posted in reviews, tagged abstinence, George Lucas, Heinz Ketchup, teasing, Waiting, Woodstock Revival on November 16, 2009 | 2 Comments »
Despite the arguments made by old Heinz Ketchup advertisements and by young fundamentalists trying to convince their partners of the merits of abstinence, waiting is terrible. It doesn’t matter if you’re waiting for water to boil or for George Lucas to admit he made some mistakes, it hurts and will continue to hurt until the [...]
